Whenever anybody writes or says “We are human”, they are always referring to their limitations and never to the possibilities of being human.
Sadguru
I took an Eannegram personality test recently and found out I was type 4. One paragraph stood out to me as I read through what that meant.
“Fours, however, are the type most likely to embrace their grief rather than repress or feel conflicted over it. Sadness can take on a form of identity for this type.”
How often do I hold on to sadness rather than joy? How often, as Sadguru said, do I focus on my limitations rather than the possibilities. I can’t be the only one who does this, right? Who finds it easier to focus on the mistakes I’ve made or what’s going wrong in my life. Maybe not easier but more a default setting created over years of conditioning. I’m in the deprogramming phase in my life, focusing on the possibilities and how I use limiting language and limiting beliefs. Breaking through those limiting beliefs aren’t easy because they become the core of your being. Your head is telling you it’s lies but it’s hard emotionally to believe.
Here’s an exercise I want you to do when these limiting beliefs and language comes up. No matter how long it takes to recognize the language you say to yourself:
- Stop.
- Put your hand over your heart.
- Say “I know those thoughts are lies. Now, what are the possibilities?”
Think of all the ways things could go right. Build those thoughts of possibilities in your mind. Focus on how the possibilities make you feel.
This is also an opportunity to do more inner shadow work. For instance, sometimes I imagine someone coming up to me and saying, “I will give you anything you want no matter the cost to realise your dreams.” I feel joy but also fear at those possibilities. Fear I will fail if I try.
It’s okay if fear comes up alongside the joy. Don’t be hard on yourself. This is all a learning journey. Learning a new way of thinking. A new way to navigate the darkness we all live with.
Be strong but also be gentle with yourself. Do the shadow work (which is the process of shining a light on the darkness inside us) but don’t forget to find joy and peace in the moments. Reprogramming our brains to create a positive story rather than the negative one we automatically create.
Show yourself the love you deserve!